9 Clear Signs He's A F*ckboy
I fell in love with a total fuckboy.
It happens to the best of us. You’re dating a really handsome guy, who says and does all the right things. Then one day, he’s really hard to reach or he’s not contacting you at all. Now it’s hard to tell if you were in a relationship, or if a fuckboy just conned you into a meaningless situationship.
I dated such a guy in my senior year of college. We would talk for hours on end, we had the same exact sense of humor, and I found him insanely attractive. Things got hot and heavy quickly, but I rationalized that it was fine because we vibed so well.
It wasn’t until a month and a half in, after telling everyone about him, I realized I was dealing with a complete fuckboy. I had already fallen in love and tried to explain away his behavior. The way he refused to talk to me, his lame excuses for flaking on all of our plans, and his blatant gaslighting. Eventually, I gave up on him and moved on.
In retrospect, there were so many points where I should’ve realized that his intentions were not pure, but in the moment, it’s hard to distinguish. To save someone else from the one-sided pain of falling in love with such a jerk, I’ve combined the most questionable behaviors I witnessed below. If the guy you’re seeing displays three or more of these signs, you’re likely dealing with a fuckboy.
By Christianna Wiggins
He never initiates plans.
He’s always “down to hang out” but is super unclear about when he’s actually available or what he wants to do. It’s hard to pin him down for plans, and whenever you do, you initiate and it’s completely on his time. You’re bending over backwards to make time for him, but it seems like you’re always a last minute afterthought.
He cancels last minute with little or no explanation.
If you succeed in finalizing plans with this guy, he cancels last minute and gives you little or no explanation, like it’s completely normal. He’ll cancel day of and claim he’s “busy.” Suddenly, this becomes a normal occurrence. Now, it’s the third time you’ve rescheduled and you’re scared to even read his incoming texts because you know he’s going to cancel again.
When confronted, he over explains.
If he’s notoriously flaky when it comes to seeing you, there’s a big chance you’ve already confronted the issue. During this confrontation, he has the most ridiculous and detailed excuse for why he bailed. My guy told me that his friend from college dropped into town and decided to stay on his couch for a month, without notice, while said friend was battling a drug addiction. The next day, I saw on Instagram that he’d gone to a pool party with his best friend.
When confronted, he acts like you’re crazy.
Instead of coming up with an elaborate lie about why they haven’t seen you, this expert fuckboy shifts all the blame to you and will insinuate that you’re crazy. He’ll question why you’re angry and make the situation seem trivial.
He doesn’t reach out during the day.
If he’s only interested in hitting you up in the late evening hours, this guy is after one thing, and one thing only, sex. He’s looking for a hookup buddy, not a partner. Don’t be fooled by the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear, he’s just trying to get in your pants.
It never gets personal.
If you’ve seen this guy more than three times and things have never gotten personal, he’s likely keeping it superficial on purpose. Someone who really wants to date you will talk about their life goals and stupid things they did as a kid. If things never go deeper than his favorite beer, he’s not interested.
You don’t know the important people in his life.
Is the girl in his last Instagram pic his sister or his cousin? You have no idea because he doesn’t introduce you to the important people in his life, nor clue you into who they are. If it’s been over a month and you’re not sure who his best friend is, that’s a red flag.
Too sexual, too soon.
There’s no appropriate time to have sex. It completely depends on the people in the relationship. But if someone is only interested in speaking to you in a sexual nature or flat out asks for nudes before you’ve even met, they’re a fuckboy.
He doesn’t try to follow you on socials.
This may seem silly, but in the current digital age, a guy who is genuinely interested in you will want to follow you on social media. A fuckboy doesn’t care about you or your amazingly Instagrammable life, and will not seek you out on socials. Oh but you can follow him, don’t worry.