New Year, New Dating Life
In 2018, the number of unmarried adults hit a record high, confirming what we all know to be true: dating is hard.
The census bureau found that as 2017 came to a close, more than 110 million Americans, aged 18 and older, were widowed, divorced, or had always been single. As for married folks? Well they were taking longer than ever to get to it.
As a single lady myself, I fully relate to that statistic. It’s a wonderful time to be single. Single women have more power and a stronger voice than ever before. Still, I can’t fight that nagging feeling as each year rolls around that by some stroke of luck, this is going to be THE year for love and romance.
Life of course, usually has other plans. Whether it’s a full workload at school or the office, or sifting through enough crappy Tinder profiles to seriously consider eHarmony, we’ve all experienced a dating rut. The bright side? You can turn it around .
I spoke to four millennials on their top dating tips, and how they’ve refreshed their outlook on dating to thrive in singledom.
By Christianna Wiggins
What’s your relationship status?
Dale, 23: Honestly, super single - but not desperate.
Max, 24: In a relationship.
Mitch, 24: Single
Ben, 25: Single
Are you comfortable with that and why?
Dale: I’m content with it. I’m really focusing on myself and my career at the moment and I don’t think I can dedicate the time I would want to, to another individual.
Max: Yep, I’m really happy in my relationship.
Mitch: Yes, I am comfortable with being single. I don’t know that I’m looking for my person. Of course, if I come across them, I’m not going to say no.
Ben: Yes, because freedom is my style at the moment.
How do you date/which mediums do you use?
Dale: I usually meet dates through friends. I’ve met most of my past crushes or relationships that way. I’m more of a traditional guy when it comes to dating, so I’m not really into apps, but no judgement!
Max: I used to use dating apps a lot, but honestly “making out on the dance floor” has worked pretty well for me too.
Mitch: I tend to date through friends of friends, or online/apps. Meeting folks is definitely tough in a city like Los Angeles, and that has contributed to me being single more often than not.
Ben: All of them! I meet people at bars, I meet them on apps. I date often and I don’t really keep track of how I find them, but I wouldn’t say any specific way is better than another.
How are you changing your dating habits in 2018?
Dale: I’m going to be more intentional about what I want when I am dating someone. I tend to be a bit passive when situationships fall on me, and I want to avoid that.
Mitch: I’m trying personally to put myself out there more often- I tend to hide behind the guise of being a “fun, young, millennial” to a fault. I don’t even respond when approached by a potential suitor because I’m not in that mindset.
Ben: To be more honest about how I’m feeling early on. I usually know whether I’m into a person from date one, but sometimes I let things go on too long. All of this ties in with my ultimate resolution, which is to be less nice, and more kind. Nice is telling someone what they want to hear, kind is telling someone what they need to hear.
Best dating tip?
Dale: Have fun with it! Seriously, don’t forget that dating is supposed to be a good time and give you those cute little butterflies. If things start to feel too stressful, run.
Max: Try and initiate the conversation. Especially if you’re online, make a joke or ask questions, don’t make it about someone’s physical appearance. And if you make it to a date, do everyone a favor and come equipped with some talking points.
Mitch: Just be yourself and be open. Better for someone you’re dating to know the whole you early on, rather than meet you too late into the dating game.
Ben: Be honest with yourself, listen to your intuition, and always cast a wide net.